[x]

RelapseIt’s like counting
Saturn’s rings,
hash marks
along your limbs -
remembering a time
when

‘just one more’

made you feel better.

- & you’re sitting there
wondering why
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s

falling.

Battle in my MindEat.
Don't eat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
You're perfect.
You're worthless.
You're beautiful.
You're disgusting.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
Show me.
No!
I love you..

Ode to the boy with diamonds for eyesI think we were a collision course waiting to happen
And when I think back to the day when we first
Stumbled across one another, red sneakers hanging off gutters
Cherry cola voice overs and dilated pupils
We led one another on to believe in the night sky of connect the dot constellations

You wanted to dissect me and peer into the insides of my lungs
Only to find witches breath and dandelions
Slicing iron vowels you locked your hands in mine
And we fell into the static of dreaming disease
The operating table broke away to reveal a sky that never existed
And we couldn't help but laugh at the irony
Because wishing was never an option
The ane

WorthlessWorthless,
the name that cuts like a knife,
Me,
it's all that you see inside,
My heart,
is breaking with every breath I take
The lies,
the only thing I can't seem to face.

In The Daylight

In The Daylight

A false downfall
An unexpected revival

Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness

Life...redefined
Death...redesigned

In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
-
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest

I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic

I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid

A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete

Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat

wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.

she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"

in that moment,
we forget to exist.

Our MasksThe masks we wear are perfect
Never loose and rarely tight
They keep us safe from others
And keep our demons out of sight

They smile when we are broken
And laugh when we simply must
No blemish or imperfection
A creation that will never rust.

I seldom ever remember
Who I am without my mask
That to peel off that layer
Is such a daunting task

All others carry one as well
Wherever they may go
And no matter what is on their minds
Only the molded mask will show.

The lies they preach in public
Or the scars along their wrists
Are left mute to others knowledge
Ignorance is such a splendid gift

My mask is oh so perfect
Not a crack will show
Alway

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

LonelyLonely.
Unnoticed.
People don't even look
when they walk by.
Always ignored...
Nobody even asks my ideas,
my opinion.
Nobody even knows
who I am.
When people see me,
they either ignore me,
or ask a question:
"Who are you?"
But they don't even bother
to listen to my response:
"I'm Canada."
Forgotton.
Forgotton by everyone.
Forgotton by my friends, my allies.
Maybe one day
Someone will remember my name.
Canada.

Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

Lost In ConfusionLost In Confusion

My mind is spinning without a rest
Emotions whirl and twirl around
A merry-go-round gaining speed
Until the world blurrs before my eyes
What's happening? What's going on?

The simplest thought slips away
Right from my mind, fading so fast
Trying to focus, I stare and stare
Until my eyes are heavy and unclear.
I don't understand, what is going on..

Emotions rise and fall again
Within the blink of an eye
I'm crying, laughing, and depressed
A roller-coaster ride that never ends
Am I losing my mind in this?

I try to close my eyes and rest
But the world spins me around
I feel like I am failing this test
Voices and noises echo

Deactivatedthere are voids and black holes
and wounds,
papercuts sinking deep into
finger fissures
only to meet the unmarred love
of bones, strong and
bare and pure.

dark oceans are bleached
into tears that leave nothing
but sea salt in my lips

and my words are injustice
to the death of
your poetry.

this is me
drowning,
trying to be
you

trying to preserve the ardor
of your words
and the honey sweet taste
of your passion

it's also
how my lungs work
(when I don't read something from you
I die more than a little on the inside).

You Are BlindYou see a picture.
A girl with a smile on her face.

She looks beautiful.
She wasn't going anyway fancy.
But she wore her black make up.
And her brand new top.

But that isn't what I see...

Look a little closer...
Can't you see the tears that have just been wiped away?

Look a little closer...
Can't you see her right fist clenched,
Fumbling for her over strap bag?

Look a little closer...
Can't you see the left hand grip her long sleeve for dear life?

Look a little closer...
Can't you see her mind is running with thoughts tonight?

Look a little closer...
And maybe you'd have seen the warning signs....

One special personEveryone leaves you.
Everyone gives up.
Everyone stops loving you, and stops believing in you, and stops caring about you.
Everyone will say something to hurt you.
Everyone will eventually agree with you when you say “I feel worthless”.
And everyone will eventually say something about you.
And everyone will hurt you intentionally.
Everyone leaves you.
And everyone gives up.

But one person, one special person
Will never leave you.
Will never give up on you.
Will never stop loving you, and never stop believing in you, and never stop caring about you.
Never say anything to hurt you.
Never let you say “I feel worthless”,

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Holidy Fever: Be the Alien Queen

You are Feferi Peixes and you have just decided that you hate winter. This is because the sidewalk is covered in snow, it's about five degrees outside, and there were so many people in line to get hot coffee that you didn't have time to get your cappuccino.
There are some nice things about winter, you guess. Like the long nights, and seasonal coffee (when you can get it), and curling up under a blanket by the heater with snow falling outside.

None of those things, though, are very comforting after walking ten blocks in the freezing cold at eight o' clock in the morning, to the public library where you don't even want to be.

It is your firs

little secretsi.
I miss you and I'm
a little scared
because when I don't
hear from you
I don't know and
I hate not knowing

ii.
we were friends once
upon a time but now
we're somehow
enemies and I don't
understand.
what happened to
the way we used to be?

iii.
we are the opposite
of friends with benefits and
it is the best thing
that has ever happened to me.
thank you.

iv.
please
please please fall
in love with my
best friends because
she is in love
with you and you both
need to be happy.

v.
you're actually better
than a sister
because siblings
never
get along this well.

vi.
you wouldn't be
one of my
best friends
if yo

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stranglehold

by *Queen-Marlynna-Saige, May 1, 2011, 7:45:36 AM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

she said,
creating is like breathing to me
because she couldn't not create
it was in her blood,
in her nature,
in her soul:
she was always writing
drawing
making music
always trying so hard to bring
a little bit of beauty
to the world.
she said,
creating is like breathing to me
but she was choking
energy lost,
her life force smothered
by the monster in her head
and she couldn't draw breath
no air
no air
because the words were all gone
and the pictures in her head
did not look beautiful on paper
and the chords were all wrong
when she tried to explain it all
in a song
and the monster had its claws
wrapped around her heart
and was nibbling at the edges of
her soul, feeding
on everything she was and everything
she cared about
and she was afraid
and she told no one
because she didn't want the monster
to get out and hurt the people
she called her friends.

strangleholdby *Queen-Marlynna-Saige

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

...

~JazzyWereWolf May 1, 2011 Hobbyist Photographer

This is amazing. Truly one of the most meaningful yet beautiful things you've written. You know me and the kind of poetry I like, but this touched me in a way not many poems have before. I know your situation, I feel your pain like it's my own. This was so well put together.

I know that we can win. <3

*Queen-Marlynna-Saige May 2, 2011 Hobbyist Digital Artist

Thank you so much! <3 Haha I'm feeling the love on this poem. I'm proud that I was able to write something that meant something to you. Your support means everything.

~ShadowQueenServer1 May 1, 2011

This is beautiful. It really is...
I can't really explain it in detail, but what you've said in this poem ... You have explained your entire situation in a poetic stature. Most people wouldn't be able to see past all the metaphors and hidden meanings and such... But I can see perfectly clear what you're going through...

You must ascend, spread your wings, let your soul's inner beauty outgrow the monster's hatred. Overcome it, consume it with love, innocence, curiosity. Explore the wonders of being free from the monster's grip...

*Queen-Marlynna-Saige May 1, 2011 Hobbyist Digital Artist

Thank you so much. :1 You have no idea how much your comments mean to me.
I was actually going to post another depressing-as-shit poem, but I came home and saw your comments on this and my journal and it was gone.

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stranglehold

strangleholdby *Queen-Marlynna-Saige

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